The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Iran Concerned That 'Attack Not On U.S. Agenda'
(email to a friend)

TEHRAN, Iran - Iranian officials convened in Tehran today to discuss the latest developments in the U.S. aggression toward their country, sources related. "The statement that an attack on our soil is 'not on the agenda at this point' sounds exactly like President Bush's assurance that there was 'no war plan against Iraq on his desk' in the months leading up to that attack," said one anonymous source, "And it is our opinion that similar signals are now coming out of Washington." A formal apology is expected to be requested from Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice.

"I have no war plans on my desk."
-- President Bush, less than a year before the 2nd Gulf War
"Apology?" said White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, "For what? Secretary Rice has made it clear that there is no attack on the agenda, how can this be misconstrued to be anything but an assurance of peace?"

"The Bush administration has caused the U.S. to lose credibility in the Muslim world," explained Dr. Philip Callahan, Professor of Middle Eastern Studies at the University of Pennsylvania, "His 'there are no war plans on my desk' comment has been played and replayed on Arab television, and the same wording was used on several different occasions prior to the Gulf War, so there is a certain amount of disingenuousness attributed to anything that comes out of the White House. To put it bluntly, they think 'we don't want a war' is our way of signaling that a war is coming. And asking for other nations' help toward 'peace' sounds very much like forming a 'coalition'."

Iran's disdain for the U.S. runs deep, and no love is lost between the two countries. However, analysts agree that this situation is very different from the one that led up to war with Iraq. "Politically, it is a much more stable country," said Edward Chiles, political analyst for the Boston Globe, "We may not agree with their style of governing, but there is little in the way of uprising or rebellion. Moreover, absolute power is not as concentrated on one man, as it was in Iraq. War under these circumstances makes little sense."

"If I were Iran, I'd keep my eyes open," rebutted Tomas Banques, freelance political adviser, "They are paranoid and none too trusting of the U.S. in general, that's true. But I have to agree that there is certainly a feeling of deja vu in hearing the comments from Rice."
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved