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Schwarzenegger Agrees To 'Let Himself Go' To Avoid Conflict
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SACRAMENTO, California - California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, recently under fire for his connections to fitness supplement manufacturers and his decision to veto a bill damaging to them, announced Friday his decision to "get flabby". In a press conference called Friday afternoon, he stated, "There was never a conflict. All of my decisions are made for the good of the people of California. But to silence those girlie men that dare to question my motives, I am letting myself go. I will become as weak and flabby as those that attack me." The Governor said his plan included eating fast food, drinking generic colas and watching more television.

"I will become as weak and flabby as those that attack me."
-- California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
The governor currently weighs 240 pounds, but turning that lean muscle into its equivalent weight in fat will not be easy, say dieting experts. "People believe that if they drop off their diet for a day or two, they're lost," said fitness consultant Terrell Fense, "And for most folks there's some truth in that. But for a man that's spent his life toning and sculpting his body, this will be a challenge indeed." The entire transformation could take several months, and even then not bring about a truly flabby physique. "It may be too late in life for the Governor to turn it around," said dieting expert Harvey Diamond, "He may simply be fit for life."

Despite the Governor's stated intention to eliminate any appearance of conflict, opponents were quick to criticize the move. "Finally stepping up and discontinuing his association with the manufacturers of fitness products was the right thing to do, and I applaud the Governor's decision," remarked Democratic Senator Jackie Speier, "But this new personal anti-health initiative is taking it a tad too far. Our country is facing a health crisis largely due to obesity and sloth. This is not the time for a leader to throw in the fitness towel."

McDonald's and Wendy's have both approached the Governor about possible promotional opportunities. The Governor's staff has said he will be taking the opportunities under consideration on a case-by-case basis.
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