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Bush Supports Saddam's Desire to Be "Sacrificed"
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CRAWFORD, Texas - Speaking from his ranch, President Bush stated that he is "110% behind Mr. Hussein's desire to be sacrificed in the name of whatever it is he's talking about." The statement came when a reporter asked if the President was aware that the former dictator expressed interest in 'sacrificing himself'. "If he wants to be sacrificed," he went on, "We will be more than happy to oblige him."

"It's 'bring 'em on' all over again!"
-- political consultant Andre Brebe
The statement was met -- predictably -- with great anger in the Arab world. "He has the man under lock and key," said one Jordanian's blog, "Isn't that enough?" An Associated Press poll taken among Muslim citizens of three countries showed that America's popularity reached an all time low of 0%, down from 1.2% from a similar poll taken only three weeks earlier.

Analysts agree that such statements are not in line with the President's stated goal of a stable, peaceful Iraq. "It's 'bring 'em on' all over again," bemoaned political consultant Andre Brebe, "You know, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him shut up!"

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan attempted to explain the President's comments as "more joking than sincere". He said, "The President had not yet been briefed about Saddam's letter, a letter I might add that was clearly marked for family news only, and was unaware that the reporter was asking a legitimate question. Of course, in truth, this administration wants only to see justice served in Mr. Hussein's case and has no interest in directing the type of punishment deemed appropriate by the Iraqi government."

Saddam's single-page letter, undated and written in ink, was delivered by the Red Cross. It was partially blacked out by military censors, and the words "Family News Only" were stamped at the top in English.
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