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North Korea Pledges to "Drop Nukes"
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PYONGYANG, North Korea - President Bush and other world leaders were at first pleasantly surprised when Kim Jong Il made it known that his country would "drop nukes" in order to bring an end to the never-ending negotiations. "We all thought he had his head around what must happen," said chief U.S. negotiator Christopher Hill, "It sounded like we were going to be going home happy. I even sent word back to Washington informing them of what I thought was a watershed moment in the talks." But the group's mood darkened quickly as Kim Jong Il revealed a chart titled "Proposed Targets".

"It's a ploy, and a badly played one."
-- President Bush
"I couldn't believe I was sitting in a room with a man that had just told me he was going to drop a nuclear bomb on me," said South Korean Deputy Foreign Minister Song Min-soon, through an interpreter, "I think we all assumed his statement about 'dropping nukes' had an altogether less sinister meaning."

The negotiators for the five nations immediately left the table to report the latest developments to their respective governments. "The CIA tells us that if they have any deliverable weapons at all," assured General James T. Krik, "They are sitting on top of very limited range missiles. Even if he wants to drop a bomb or two, he can't toss 'em too far." However scientists point out that even a small nuclear blast on the Korean Peninsula would have long term effects on the region and to a lesser extent on the entire world.

"He's bluffing, there's no doubt about it," said Bush, "Just like when he claimed the mushroom cloud from a few months back was nuc.. nooc.. nuke-based. He's got too much at stake here to be tossing bombs around. It's a ploy, and a badly played one."

Jong Il has issued no further statements on the matter. Satellites have revealed no activity consistent with launch preparations, though officials point out that the activity can be concealed for a time.
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