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Ethics Concerns Raised Over Cadbury's Human-Rabbit Hybrid
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BIRMINGHAM, England - Cadbury-Schweppes scientists announced Friday that they are "past the initial hurdles" of creating hybrid embryos by fusing human cells with rabbit eggs. The company want to use the embryos to produce intelligent rabbits to use in promoting their already popular 'Cadbury Creme Eggs'. "Of course, we're already a few weeks into the Creme Egg season this year," explained one researcher, "These chaps won't start moving product until next season. But that gives us time to clean them up a bit" Although made of rabbit cell material, scientists say the resulting creatures would be controlled by human-like brains.

"The viewers will find him irresistible."
-- Cadbury Marketing Representative Giles Landbury
Legal experts say it is not clear whether the creatures would be regarded in law as rabbit or human. The Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority (HFEA), which governs this field of research, said Friday that any such work should be licensed, but did not explicitly declare the current work illegal.

Cadbury's long standing ads showing a rabbit laying a creme egg will continue to run, however the ads featuring these genetically-engineered creatures will be able to do much more, explained Cadbury-Schweppes marketing representative Giles Landbury, "Having a universally-recognized symbol of Easter -- the rabbit -- happily explaining in his own voice what a joy it will be to eat a Creme Egg, well, as you can no doubt imagine, the viewers will find him irresistible."

Cadbury has no intention to license the technology to other companies, though cloning researchers have been allowed to examine their work. "We want to do our part to contribute to technology as a whole," explained Landbury, "But we must protect our investment as well. These little scamps are ours, and we intend to keep it that way."
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